Monday, July 8, 2013

Another Transition?

After going through four cycles of consolidation chemotherapy, my body has been pretty consistent on how and when it responds. Some parts of the chemo cycle are tougher than others.  This past week was the tough part.  On day 10, I have reliably become neutopenic, that is to say my neutrophil level (a component or type of white blood cell) has fallen below what is required to fight off infections.  I start taking antibiotics, antivirals, and anti-fungals as a preventative.  If I were inpatient, I would get this lovely trifecta intravenously.  I also have a list of other preventive measures I observe until my neutrophils recover sufficiently.  My white blood cells aren’t the only thing that the chemo hits. Around day 14, I come to what is referred to as the nadir – the bottom – and now, all of my white blood cells (not just the neutrophils) are almost undetectable. In addition, the platelets in my blood fall critically low. Without adequate platelets, we stand a good chance of bleeding to death. That’s a pretty thought, isn’t it?
 
My day 14s have been long days at the hospital waiting for the blood bank to provide a bag of platelets. Unlike most intravenous fluids I get, which are clear, platelets look like a yellow goo and thankfully, they can pump the goo in through my PICC line in about 20 minutes. A couple of days later, my hemoglobin and hematocrit drops and I need a blood transfusion, sometimes two units. It’s during this week that my system is recovering and I feel very tired and end up napping more than usual, sometimes twice a day. At the end of the week, something starts to click inside and it feels like I’m coming around again. That translates into next week being a good strong week…and of course, the following week it begins all over again.

Mmmm, good - yellow goo!
 
But…
The plan isn’t to do these chemo cycles interminably. At some point, there’s some adaptation to the medication, but more to the point, these ‘consolidation’ cycles are done only to keep the cancer in remission until a bone marrow donor can be found. Typically, it takes 2 – 7 months to find a donor with the suitable HLA marker matches. What also happened this week was a call from the VA in Seattle requesting more blood tests, but for my mom rather than myself.  I asked where we were in the search and the response brought me to a new intersection of events: we have a prospective donor. So, there’s some additional screening and testing before I’m involved, but it still translates into the possibility of the transplant happening any time now. I should be very clear in saying that this isn't definite. There may be something that hasn't shown up in previous tests and we have to consider the possibility that the donor, who with all the best of intentions when donating a sample, is no longer willing or able to follow through. So, we're still waiting. 
Suffice it to say, that brings to the fore all kinds of new questions and challenges.
Modern medical science has made the bone marrow transplant a procedure that is a pharmacological wonder. One attending hem/onc physician described the procedure just 20 years ago as barbaric, requiring literally hundreds of holes into bones of both donor and recipient that made the operating theater look more like the set of M*A*S*H than a sterile surgical field. Today, the procedure amounts to prepping the donor with a drug that boosts leukocyte production. The leukocytes are then harvested in a procedure that is similar to dialysis.  The donor stem cells are then separated from the leukocytes and set aside for the recipient.  The leukocytes are then returned to the donor. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy, right? Well, by comparison to the old method, yeah, but the prep for the recipient (that would be me), is a bit on the scary side.
Essentially, what happens is a near lethal dose of chemo / full-body radiation that, according to one person I spoke to at the hospital, takes me to the brink of death and the stem cells grafting to my marrow bring me back. While it sounds very scary—and I harbor no illusions about sailing through it—I’ve only heard of one instance where someone didn’t make it through the procedure and that’s because he gave up. It will be difficult, it will be a long recovery, but it will end. And my fervent hope is that when it does in fact end, I’m still alive and cancer stays firmly in the rear view mirror!

That’s a rather simplistic picture of the process, but it’s not far off according to what I’ve been told and what I’ve read (This series ofarticles is about as succinct as I’ve seen. They are broken up into bite size pieces and take you through start to finish and aren't written at the post-doc level; and this group of statistics is government-generated and pretty direct if you care to read up on the whole thing…especially for the insomniacs out there!). The reality of the situation is pretty sobering as the intersection, my newest transition, approaches. But just like the first phase of my treatment, my outlook is still pretty optimistic and my attitude still contains a healthy dose of humor and sarcasm. Would you expect anything less?
As always, I wish you all the best of health, strength and love.
Today's music from Elton John: "I'm Still Standing," complete with the original video from 1983. Costumes and filming in Cannes, France by the looks of things.
You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use
And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away
Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now